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Office Ninja Confessions: “And then he said the thing I’ll never forget…”

First, a big thanks to all the office ninjas who responded to our first Confessions post! Reality IS stranger (and more heinous) than fiction. All we can say is: WE WANT MORE. We love your stories of bad bosses, assignments that are borderline illegal, and your own bad behavior (we agree they had it coming).

Among all the sordid stories, the details of which vary, we noticed a common theme: unforgettable quotes and one-liners. These words, usually uttered by those in power, are often the punchline of the joke or climax of the story. Other times they’re the straw that broke the camel’s back, nudging ninjas towards deciding to either jump ship or finally tell their managers exactly where to go and which body parts they can kiss on their way there.

But no matter what, they’re always the piece of the story that you’re guaranteed to remember forever.

There’s a sort of simplistic elegance in the unapologetic douche baggery of this week’s confession:

Confession #2: Deal With It

Submitted by Blunt Traumatized in San Francisco

In one of my EA roles, I was once told, “Your job is really hard. Part of what that makes that job so hard is that you have to deal with assholes. I get to be that asshole, and you have to deal with it.”

Thanks for not sugar-coating it, jerk!

Can you top this? What’s the best-worst thing someone ever said to you on the job? CONFESS!


  1. After working for an extremely busy and intense individual for 7 months, he randomly comes up to my cubicle and tells me that I should be proud of myself…….Because I got a lot accomplished that week.

    Are you kidding me?!?!!?

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