Despite dealing with office drama, difficult personalities, and requests that cross the line, you keep it together for a respectable number of the 40+ hours a week you spend in the office. As the resident office ninja, you’re calm, rational, and discreet.

But, guess what? You’re still human, which means you need to vent. And your fellow office ninjas across the country want to listen. Why? Mostly because it makes them feel less alone when they’re dealing with their own office BS. But, also because a lot of the worst experiences actually make the funniest stories.

That’s why we’re launching Office Ninja Confessions.

It’s like your typical anonymous support group, but with entertainment value. We want to hear your goriest work stories; terrible bosses, heinous coworkers, workplace disasters – bring it on. And we know you’re not perfect, so feel free to share your own worst moments. Did you “forget” to schedule an airport pickup for your least favorite member of the C-Suite? Did you exact revenge by putting laxatives in your mean boss’s coffee? We hope you did, because we want to hear all about it.

We’re kicking things off with a real doozy.

This week’s confession: The Devil Cons OSHA

Submitted by Traumatized in Idaho

I was recently employed as the office manager at a small Drywall company for about 18 months. During that time, I had my boss (the owner): ask me to get a driver’s license for an employee without a green card; tell me to take his 30-hour online OSHA safety class for him; request that I bail him out of jail for spitting on his ex-wife (assault); ask me to cut off the gauze tape stuck to his underarm hair (I refused).

I knew more about his divorce than he did. Those are just a few of the insane things that went on there. I could literally write a book. In the 7 months since I’ve left, he’s had 3 different office managers.

Traumatized in Idaho, we too draw the line at grooming our supervisors’ underarm hair.

Got something you want to get off your chest? Can you top this spitting scoundrel? We want to read it. And if we publish your story we’ll send you an OfficeNinjas treat. Consider it a consolation prize. Anonymously share your story here.